The voice diary

Automatic transcript, not yet corrected. May contain misheard words and strong language. This captures what I said then, not medical advice.

So this is day one of trying to get used to changing the way I speak because I don't think this is meant to be the normal way, although after 37 years it certainly feels very foreign, switching to one I know that I have. It sounds normal in recordings, but it really freaks me out when I try and use it. So I am trying to expose myself to it every day in order to try and acclimatize so here goes so this is what I normally should sound like it sounds very strange the dogs looking at me like what are doing who are you that's kind of how I feel as well so just feels very strange talking the way I haven't spoken like before feels like I can't control it very well it feels very deep very resonant very powerful extremely unfamiliar dogs still looking at me like what the fuck is that noise and yeah sorry

Automatic transcript, not yet corrected. May contain misheard words and strong language. This captures what I said then, not medical advice.

So I wanted to give you a voice sample of what I normally sound like. So this is the way I've been speaking for the last 25 years. I'm in a relatively quiet environment at home where I'm comfortable. And my voice isn't tired today. But this voice can change quite a lot once it gets tired or once I'm in an environment that's quite loud because I can't shout with it. And if I do shout, it just goes higher and higher in pitch. But this is the voice most people know me as using. It is quite difficult to use, and you notice it especially when you switch to the other voice, which you can definitely feel the strain. And then this is the other voice, which I'm supposed to be using. You can see that I can switch to it quite easily. It's not difficult. But this one, you know, I don't have to strain. It's quite natural. I can shout in it, I can sing in it. There's a lot of volume. It's more stable if you listen to it. But this is the voice that is supposed to be there, but hasn't been. So it's, you can imagine it's gonna take a lot of adjusting to get used to speaking like this from speaking a certain way for 25 odd years this one feels a lot louder in my head feels very different it feels like a different person almost i'm getting more and more comfortable using it at home by myself but i find when i try to use it in front of other people i just feel really embarrassed i'm not sure why because when you listen to recordings It sounds perfectly fine. This is what a 37 year old guy should sound like You know, there's nothing crazy about it, but I'm just Using it to me feels so strange and uncomfortable not physically uncomfortable, but mentally and emotionally uncomfortable, so Yeah, I've got a bit to work on and hopefully I will eventually be speaking this way because Clearly this is the more Normal natural way to be speaking